


To See Color Again

by Jenayisonearth



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Music, Rape, Therapy, Trauma, au where Jenna doesn't exist, i have synesthesia so it might not make sense, tyler doesn't talk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-11-09 04:29:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11096934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenayisonearth/pseuds/Jenayisonearth
Summary: After being raped Tyler doesn't talk. Trauma drove him to never speak. Josh does everything to hear the sweet sound of his best friend's voice and to track down the perpetrator. This fic has triggers and they will be listed before each chapter.(CURRENTLY ON HOLD)





	1. Chapter 1 Red

**Author's Note:**

> My first twenty one pilots fic and fic here!!! Yay!!! I hope you like it, I've been working on it then got an invitation so it's pre-written so don't get used to the every day updates. Enjoy :)

The rumbling sounds of cars zooming past Tyler as he walked along the road at night filled him an urge. Music made by tires, a rhythm from the engine. A blinding flash of light filled his eyes before finishing with a quiet red. The car drove on. 

He mumbled lyrics to a song of feelings from an emotional time, words produced from hurt, a describing language only so many people know and a version he knows. Each step brought him closer to his destination: Josh. 

He turned the corner onto Josh's lane, he was brought up to the final house on the right. A two story house for two best friends. As he came up the final step and his hand hovering over the door in a fist Josh opened the door.  
"Tyler" he whispered as he brought Tyler closer to him, his arms embraced his back as Tyler dropped himself into Josh's arms. His tears stained and expanded into Josh's red shirt.

Red. 

Josh shut the door behind him as he pulled Tyler to the couch. He turned on the lights and brought out a blanket. He knew Tyler wouldn't want to talk about it, whatever it was, and proceeded to turn on the tv and put on a show they were watching together. Tyler's head dropped signaling to Josh that he was asleep


	2. Chapter 2 Orange

Josh's P.O.V.

 

I woke up to Tyler's head on my lap, I saw tear tracks that lead to his jaw. I don't know what happened last night but when I saw his face I knew something was wrong. 

I got up on numb legs and walked over to my kitchen. I walked slowly and as quietly as I could on my hard wood floor so I would wake him up. By the looks of it, Tyler wouldn't be getting much sleep so I'll let him rest as long as I can. 

I popped some toast in and cooked some eggs, I added some of Tyler's favorite seasonings and placed both on an orange plate.

He was rubbing his eyes when I walked in, I tried to met his eyes but he just looked down. "Brought you some pancakes" I said placing the eggs and toast next to him. 

He just nodded. 

It wasn't like him, he would've laughed or chuckled and punched me playfully at least but no. I stood up and asked him if he wanted something to drink. 

He just nodded. 

"Tyler?" I asked, "Tyler talk to me, please." I begged, I put my hands on his shoulder and tried to find his gaze. 

"Sing for me?" I pleaded, if he didn't then something was seriously wrong. 

He didn't.

Something was up.

"I'm taking you to the hospital." I said grabbing my phone, wallet, and keys. I got out two jackets from my closet and put one on Tyler then I dragged him out of my house. One the way to the emergency room I keep on stealing glances at him. I saw his tears roll down silently and they were tinted by the orange lights of the E.R.

I parked then got a wheelchair because getting him through my door was like dancing with a 500 pound limp manican.  
I pushed him through the doors and two the desk, "What's your emergency today?" The lady asked me with no joking around eyes glued onto me like barnacles. 

The world held out for a moment waiting for my answer. I looked over at him, our eyes finally meeting and I drank every second of his beautiful brown eyes. An understanding past through his face as he closed those eyes and turned his head downward. I turned to the lady behind the desk, her expression monotone ready for life's worst work to human beings. My lips parted and I spoke. 

"I think he's been raped."

~~~~~  
The orange plate stayed in Tyler's mind. The image of the color embedded into his vision tinting all the shapes of earth. The unfinished breakfast staying there only getting old. 

Then rotten.

He could relate.

Orange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks if you made it lol! Comment and I will try to get back to u if I can. Follow me twitter, tumblr, and wattpad at the same username and as before send me prompts for writing and artwork. I would love some kind criticism to enhance my writing. Have a great day and don't try to eat the sky.


	3. Chapter 3 Green

Josh's P.O.V.

I was waiting in the anteroom, colorful posters worded with smart words to seem positive but really it read something depressing and sad. Like now. Turns out I was right, even though I didn't know what put the words on my lips or what have a me a hunch but I said it and it was correct.

I wished I was wrong.

But life doesn't do what you want, it gives you the exact opposite and you end up sitting in a room while your best friend is being poked and questioned. 

 

This was torture, Tyler never deserved this and I will make sure the perpetrator got his consequence. 

An hour past and another girl came in crying. Her sobs became louder and louder, tears began to roll down my cheek numbly in syncs with her music of pain at the world. 

Another hour went by and the girl fell asleep. Her pain only stilled for the coma we know as sleep.

The third hour ticked by and a nurse came in holding a clip board and signaling towards me. It seemed like forever to reach the door she was standing by although I know my legs walked as fast as they could.  
"Mr. Dun, Tyler has semen in him which means that he has in fact been assaulted." She began," He refuses to talk when the doctors talked to him and the detective we went in." She paused and met my eyes for a second then looking at her clipboard of answers.

"This is normal in victims to be shocked and traumatized that they don't speak so we wanted to bring you in, maybe you could coax a few words out of him and it would lead the police to the person who did it." 

It, a word to represent that. A word children whisper too loudly and teachers use to replace the word we mysteriously secrete. 

"Ok" my answer is just as wobbly as my legs as I make my way to Tyler. The sight of him embedded itself within my memory, something I want to forget but the image stuck in my mess of a mind.

He was wearing a hospital gown which I swear makes everything look even worse. His brown eyes had almost a thin grey lining. His lips fell in a sad crescent with sunken cheeks, his hands laid on his lap as he looked down on them. His long fingers scratching at the fabric as a way to release himself, an escape of this mess. 

I rushed to him, falling on my knees before him. "Tyler." I whispered trying to meet his gaze then I realized he had none.

"Tyler look at me please." I pleaded not wanting to accept the idea of him damaged again. 

Tyler please" my voice trembled with tears running down my face like a race. 

The green gown didn't look right on him. 

"Mr. Dun, could we speak to you for a minute?" The Doctor said, I hadn't even noticed he was there until he spoke. I got up reluctant to leave Tyler and followed him yet to another white room. He pointed to a green chair motioning me to sit.

Once as I sat down he began to talk," We will keep him here to a few days with therapy to make sure he doesn't have anymore wounds-" "Wounds!? What do you mean 'Anymore wounds' he has more!?" I demanded standing up from the green chair. 

He sighed," Tyler was bleeding when we checked him and he began to bruise not long after." He stopped with a sympathetic frown. "We will treat him here and give him therapy, I suggest you continue giving him therapy to get him to speak." " By the looks of it, the perpetrator did this before and he may be someone the police are looking for."  
"He can stay with me, we've lived together before and he practically already lives at my house." I said looking at the doctor straight in the eye. He held my gaze with his blue eyes then jotting something down in that clipboard of his. 

"Alright, I'll have a talk with Social Services and a therapist and I'll get back to you on that." "Meanwhile if that doesn't work we still would appreciate if you could get some details from him. "

After that I walked out and and the same nurse as before walked me his room that they transferred him to. The walls were painted a sickly light green. I went over to the chair next to him and watched him drift,his pain only numbed by the coma we call sleep.  
The gown and walls teased me with their color.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The green of the gown faded little by little as the doctors and nurses poked him. The color swapped the previous lost one and was in its way there. 

His gown produced a reminder of where he was. The walls enclosed him in a room of the place he was in. He was trapped again but this time because someone else. 

Green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well same day and I don't know what to say but have a great day and don't drink rotten rose petal tea as a substitute for Gatorade.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I made a huge mistake and got the color's order wrong so ignore that;(  
> Anyways I hope u enjoy!

Josh's P.O.V.

A few days later ,( and a few restless nights) I went home with Tyler. He didn't talk for the past few days and the closest sound I could get him to make was sighing and it's not even a sound.

"Alright here we go." I say to him as I finished making the bed. It was the beginning of fall and cold air began o tinted the atmosphere. I spent about an hour deciding which way was more comfortable for him and decided on fluffy soft comforters and warm sheets.   
"Want something to eat?" I asked, his eyes were fixed on the rug in the floor. 

 

"Well I could order some pizza and we can eat it with some red bull if you like." 

 

Nothing. 

 

"I'll order it, I have a few cans in the fridge." I said walking out cautiously. He was so damaged it physically hurt to see him not be him, to see him like this but this time I couldn't help him. I could not take away what happened and it ate me inside. 

I ordered Tyler's favorite pizza from his favorite pizzeria and got out two Red Bull's.  
Then I put a blanket on the couch and went upstairs to get him.   
"Tyler." I said knocking, he must've closed the door or something.  
"I'm coming in ok." I said opening the door.

Oh god.

He was huddled in the corner between the closet, the bed, and on the floor with tears silently streaming down his violently shaking body.  
"Tyler!" I shrieked running down to him and pulling him into my arms. He nestled his wet face into my neck, still shaking and crying.   
"Tyler it's ok I'm here what's wrong?" I whispered softly into his ear.   
He only sobbed harder.   
Flashbacks.   
The therapist in the hospital warned me about this. Usually victims of rape had flashbacks of the incident and that triggers an panic attack.   
I held him in my arms for I don't know how long and whispered soft things in his ear.   
He seemed to have realized I was there are hugged me back so tight like I was going to leave if he ever let go. Once he stopped I walked him out to the couch. 

"Well pizza should be here in any minute."   
I said bringing out some paper plates and set them next to the Red Bull's. I looked over at Tyler and saw him fiddling with the blanket I draped over him. 

"Tyler." I knelt in front of him then took his in mine, took his fingers from the blanket, and kissed them. Innocently. Not in any other way. 

DING!!!!!!!!!

"Pizza is here." I said standing up but he didn't let go. I looked down at him and for the first time his sad eyes were already waiting for me. I'd gone so long with those brown eyes looking at me and the sight was amazing. But depressing.  
His eyes were usually filled happiness and laughter at life and everything in it, to be happy breathing and exhaling. 

Now they were dull. Just plain old eyes with dull brown coloring. What happened to him? Why him of ALL people? Why couldn't it have been me? He didn't deserve this.  
After a few seconds of being surprised he quickly put his head down, still hooks my hands. 

 

"Come on Tyler,lets go." I said pulling him up and wrapping my arm around his waist.   
He stayed with me as I grabbed my wallet and took out a few bills.   
He stayed with me until I opened the door and paid the delivery guy. And he stayed there even as I was standing in front of the couch serving the slices. 

It was again like I was his anchor to something.

We sat down on the couch and I put on some random movie but it became apparent neither of were watching so I said "should I turn it off?" 

He nodded.

I want to hear his voice again. Sure I could just youtube it or something but it wasn't the same. I wanted to hear the life and colorful voice of his, the voice that secretly soothed me when I was sad.

He ate a little bit of pizza and refused to take more than a sip of the energy drink.   
"You don't want anymore?" I asked when he didn't finish the other half of the pizza. I didn't really eat much either.

He shook his head. 

Well there's a change.

Cleaned up a little while still sitting on the couch and reluctantly stood up to go to the kitchen. I hurried and came back quickly seeing Tyler trying to hide his anxiety. I sat down next to him and hugged him tightly. 

"You tired?" 

He nodded.

"Ok lets go to bed then." I said standing up, his arms that were locked in mine slid down to hands and held mine.

"Lets go." I said quickly trying to hold my tears in. He stood up and stayed huddled to my side still holding my hand with both of his. Even as we went up the stairs and in his bedroom.  
"You comfortable in that or you want to change?" I asked pointing to his clothes. He looks down at his clothes and then at our conjoined hands. He lets go shaking and walks towards the bags I got from his place. 

"Here let me help." I said opening the bags and picking out a yellow baggy shirt and fuzzy pants. "This ok?" I held up the clothes. 

He nodded. 

"Ok go change, I'll wait out here okay?"

He nodded. 

He went in the bathroom and closed the door halfway. I went over and sat in the bed waiting for him to finish and I can see him here with me. Since that day I became more protective of him and my sight more hungry for him. 

He opened the door and looked at me, I stood up and motion to the covers. He walked over and pulled them back, his hand lingering over the bare sheets. I looked over a him with concern. "I can go if you want." I said tuning away.

I felt a hand grab my shirt on my back. I turn around to see his scared face with tears begging to fall and roll on those precious cheeks of his.

'Don't leave me' they called to me.

"I'll just get changed then." I said motioning him to come. He followed me closely to my room and I got my clothes. I turned off the lights and led him back to his room. 

It was nothing intimate. He just held on to me, tighter in the middle of the night. 

Immediately I woke fully again and moved a bit to hug as he he broke down in tremendous tears soaking my shirt. It took a second to realize that he was probably having a dream about that it. 

"Shhhh Tyler you're okay, I here and you're safe now." I whispered into his shaking ear.   
"You're with me now, everything will be fine."   
After about an hour he calmed down a bit, still a little shook. He looked up, not at my eyes or my face but higher and touched my hair delicately.

He must of realized I was awake or something because he breathed in sharply and removed his fingers quickly from their entangled position in my hair. 

"No please, I liked them there." I said softly to not appear harsh or anything and brought them back there. 

He seemed intrigued by it and it was really soothing. I hugged his torso and closed my eyes and not long after I heard his breathing even out and his hand go limp on my head. 

I really missed him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since the ride home from the hospital Josh's yellow hair stood out. It stood out brighter than before.

Tyler knew yellow was next.

A color didn't seem brighter for no reason, no, not when it was happening in sequence as a final goodbye.

Josh's strange fascination with hair color changes always humored Tyler, he thought it was cute and just Josh.

But now it's dulled out with the grey coloring and low brightness. 

Now a part of Josh has been affected by Tyler. The one thing Tyler loved most got dirty by him.

Oh god. 

Yellow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to treehouseisnotonfire for the kind criticism.  
> Here is a nice long(ish) chapter just for you. Tell me if you want longer chapters than this one please. Anyways thank you and follow me on Wattpad, Twitter,Tumblr, and instagram at Jenayisonearth. Again thanks and please leav some kind critiques, I really appreciate it. Have a great day and don't eat raw tortillas


	5. Chapter Five Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok THANK YOU ALL FOR 144 HITS OMG I AM FLIPPING OUT!!!!!!!!!!   
> Thank you all who have left kudos and please comment, it really motivates me. 
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy

Josh's P.O.V. 

I woke up to his face near mine. I could see where the tears ran down last night, a result of that it.

He looked like he was given a bit of mercy, not exactly peaceful but a break from all this. I stared at his closed eyes and relaxed expression. He was so beautiful, he did not deserve this. I was suddenly overcome with determined anger at the guy who did this.

Tyler was always good at picking up feelings or emotions easily, so I get up as slowly and softly as I can before he wakes up.

I pulled on some socks and planted a kiss on his cheek before going downstairs and making two bowls of cereal quickly and hurry upstairs.

It might be ridiculous or something but leaving him alone makes me feel anxious.  
I can't risk losing him again even if it is in my house and no one is here and the doors are locked. 

I make my way into his room just as he opens his eyes, he doesn't see me yet and frantic fills his face. 

"It's okay Tyler, I'm here, I just went and got us some cereal. 

He looks down.

"Hey, I will never leave you ok? I will be here always, I'm sorry I wasn't ."

A tear falls down.

"Hey I pinky promise." I held up my pinky and when he ducked his head lower I lifted it up with it and wiped his tears. 

"Yeah?" I said with a hopeful smile.

He nodded.

I took his pinky and squeezed it with mine. 

"Well lets eat, here or on the couch?" 

He looks at the bed then the floor.

Here then.

"Ok here." I gave him the bowl and he lifted the spoon slowly with soppy flakes falling down with milk into the blue bowl.

He seems to stare at the bowl before opening his mouth and chewing. I began mine before he realized I was staring.

Once we finished he got up and walked over to a blue vase sitting on a coffee table and touched it. 

Another tear fell down.

He walked back to me in my confused state and hugged me. I reached up held his arm. 

Then my phone beeped. He got startled a jumped a bit as I took it out, it was a call. 

"Um..." I tried recognizing the number. 

Nope. 

"I'll just call back, maybe it's a wrong number caller or something." I said to him.

"Hello this is Columbus Ohio Therapy Center and I am Alison, How may I help you today." 

Oh yeah.

"Hi I'm Josh and I just got called right now I think because I need to take my friend in and have a session?"

"May I have your last name and phone number?" 

I have it to her.

"Yes it was a confirmation that he will arrive today at 10:30?" 

"Hi yeah we'll be there." 

"Ok we'll see you soon!" And hung up.

"Hi Tyler I forgot about the appointment with the therapist today and it's in an hour." I said quickly, "it's mandatory for you to stay here so we have to do it."

He nodded.

"I'm sorry."

He shook his head.

"Let's get changed?" "Or we can go in our pajamas." I added bringing a nice pink in his cheeks. He won't even laugh. Oh God.

I picked out a blue shirt and a pair of black jeans for me and for him his third favorite shirt and a pair of blue jeans. 

I got changed real quick and went to the bathroom, when I finished he was already changed and picking at his nail. 

"Need to use the bathroom or something?" I said.

He shook his head. 

"Ok let's go before traffic!" I tried to sound positive but I just couldn't. I took his hand and entangled my fingers with his and gave them a slight squeeze. He followed and got in my car. 

The drive was mostly silent with me making small talk on my own but he was lost in thought, I could tell he wasn't listening to me ramble about the weather or the jerk that cut me off.

Once we got there he seemed a bit anxious. I walked out and opened his door and bent down and hugged him. I nestled my head in the crook of his neck and I felt him relax a bit. 

"Ready?" I whispered questioningly.

He nodded.

"Ok." I said patting his leg and unbuckling him. 

He stayed close to me, as if he was huddling away from something. I hated seeing him like this, I hated being helpless to him, I hated not being there that night.

"10:30 Tyler Joseph." I said walking up to the lady at the front desk. 

"Alright fill this out and your name will be called in a few minutes." She said handing me a clipboard with a piece of paper filled with questions in black ink. I filled out the simple questions like, ' date of birth' and 'last name' and 'why are you here today'.

I hated them.

Once I finished and put the clipboard in the slot and man came out and examined it. He called out Tyler's name and I stood up. 

"You want me to come." I asked silently.

He nodded timidly.

He found my hand and held on it with both of his, I could hear his breaths became frantic as we entered the room. Each inhale sharper and exhale dreaded more than the last. 

"Hi I am Dr. Handerson and I'll be here for this session." He began. I already didn't like him and I could tell Tyler didn't either.

"So Tyler can you tell me what happened that night in detail?" He asked looking sternly at him. Tyler began shaking.

"No you are here to help him get past it not make him relive it because it is NOT your job!!!" 

I realized that my arm was over Tyler and he was hanging on to it, handing his face behind and pressing it in.

I tugged him out of there with that freak yelling after me. I wrapped my other arm around Tyler so he was in my embrace. 

"You'll be hearing from me again!" I said to the front desk lady, "Sir what's wrong?!" She asked bringing out a notepad and pen, " your 'therapist just gave him an anxiety attack and asked the very question he was NOT supposed to ask!!" I told her.

I then pulled my poor Tyler out of there and in the car. I drove out and in thirty minutes we were home. I parked in my driveway and stopped my car. "Hey." I began. Since the ride home he didn't let his gaze go of me, or my shirt. 

"I'm sorry, I won't take you back there I promise." I hugged him pulling his head to my chest. 

I felt him nod.

After a few minutes I asked him if he wanted to go inside, he nodded yes and I opened the door for him. It seems that these days the universe is picking Tyler again. 

As we walked inside the house he stopped and touched my shirt. The cloth between his fingers fell along with tears.

What is going on !? And why is it happening to my Tyler. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The blue shirt Josh wore was perfectly the worst. It shone brightly on him, it looked great on him. The vase seemed teasing and his jeans mocking. 

Blue was special though.

It gave Tyler a calm reassurance, like Josh.

Poor Josh.

He had to deal with Tyler's problems, he wanted to talk to him, he really did. Now he was losing it and all he'll soon have left is Josh. 

No calm.

Blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I can not get over myself, anyways thanks for reading and please leave a comment, like I said it really motivates me to write more. Thank u and Don't play with egg yolks because it is satisfying in a family reunion. Have a great and fabulous day   
> \- Jenay


	6. Chapter 6: Purple.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry but I'll explain later, enjoy ;) and

Josh's P.O.V.

 

It was a week since Tyler got home. A week of silence and a week for anger to build up inside me to make that disgusting man pay for the damage he did to my boy.

I told the followers that we decided to take a while off and just work on the new album or something, we could survive on the Youtube views and Merch purchases. 

They took it well, I guess. They were upset that we weren't doing interaction with them but understood it was for the "new album". 

I didn't tell them about it though. 

I looked over at Tyler, he was getting less sleep and seemed distracted by something. For the last three days here stared at random objects and refused to look me in the eye. Oh god I wish I could take on all his pain. 

"So food?" I asked him, bags were getting bigger each morning. I tried to hold him, to let him know I was now here, now I won't make the same mistake. 

He nodded. 

I was used to his nods, it was an answer that I only now had. But this time it was more painful, if that is even possible, his eyes lost all color and life and were replaced by simply dulled out brown. 

I wanted so badly to reverse time and stay by his side nonstop that day, but I couldn't and I hated it.

Tyler seemed to sense something and reached out to my hand and covered it with both of his. My hand captivated by the warmth of his. 

He stared down at them, not moving at all . Sometimes the things he does are so random they are calming. Reassuring. 

I swallowed back tears. Even hurt I still need him to control me. 

I rested my other hand on top of the bundle of fingers. His gaze fixed on it.

"So fruit salad?" I asked once I was sure my voice couldn't betray me. 

He nodded.

I didn't really want to remove my hand from underneath his, the cold air hit it once I did. I stood and walked out of the room, downstairs, and into the kitchen. I brought out a knife and chopped the fruit as fast as I could not caring if I cut myself to I didn't have to leave him alone. 

I heard footsteps walking around which surprised me a lot since Tyler didn't really move that much, or eat.

I quickly washed a bunch of grapes and threw them into the concoction of fruit. I picked them up a while back before this and I decided to use them now before they began to rot.

After I put the sass into both bowls I rushed out walking onto the living room, Tyler was just standing there facing the couch.

He had this look in his eyes, it wasn't a single emotion but something else. Confusion? Shocked? It was something I recognized but didn't know. It was something I knew this wasn't good. He had fear and a seem for loss. It seemed liked he realized his helplessness at something.

Something. 

Something I don't know.

Something I didn't prevent.

Something he had.

Something that I had absolute control of but at the same time didn't.

 

"Here you go." I said placing down the two bowls of colorful fruit, "the grapes are really sweet." 

I patted the cushion next to and he seemed to just process and realize I was there and talking. 

"Here." I placed the bowl in his hands as he sat down next to me, it was a bit further then usual. I popped a grape in my mouth, the small fruit burst in my mouth releasing sweet taste. 

I read a while back when I needed to make a addiction paper in high school for heath class. I had chosen alcoholism when it was depicted in a book I liked. Not the alcohol part but the guy tried hard to fight it but he never made it to the end of the war. 

It was poisonous how a simple drink destroys someone, how a small action leads to a series of falling dominoes. Kind of like this. 

A drink from a deadly purple grape.

A simple action from twisted mind.

And Tyler had no say. 

I looked over at him, his eyes fixed on the breakfast. 

"You like it?" I asked as he cautiously pooped a grape in his mouth. It took ambit but he nodded his head, again.

"Good I'm glad." I offered him a smile, the kind that used to make him blush and duck his head in embarrassment or something. I never really thought about it but it made me happy. I didn't realize it until now. 

The rest of the hour consisted of eating and watching a new hot show on Netflix. I don't even know what it was about as I was lost in thought. By the time the second episode's theme intro began I heard a fierce knock on my door.

Tyler looked over at me suddenly and I saw a feared concern decorate his face.

"Coming" I semi yelled, "stay here." I whispered pointing down to the couch.   
I walked over and looked through the keyhole thing. It was two police officers, both took me by surprise.

I looked back at Tyler whose eyes were set intently on me and my hand on the knob. I opened the door slightly and slipped out, hoping Ty didn't see the the officials. 

"Are you Mr. Dun?" The bald one asked. His black uniform just adding to his stern and strong voice. 

"Uh yes that would be me." I confirmed slightly worried.

"We are here on behalf of a report that you had a small incident at the Columbus Ohio Therapy Center a few days back?"

"Yeah that 'therapist' went way out of line with Tyler and I wouldn't let him. I've been meaning to file a report but he's been a bit unsteady and that's what's more important to me right now." I said adding emphasis on 'therapist'. 

"Okay we have here the note that the secretary wrote down? Did u see her write it?" The other actually not bald deputy asked. He had an uneven mustache and it's something Tyler would later chant about, making me laugh about stupid stuff because that was him, my Ty.

"Yes I did see her write down what I think is what I was saying." I replied glad Tyler wasn't here and that we were speaking not to loud, I just hoped he stayed on the couch. 

"Ok can we see your side of the story?" Bald asked while the other sidekick clicked his pen. I told everything that went on since we entered the notorious building. 

"Okay now may we speak to Tyler?"  
"No, he went there for a reason, he won't talk and only nods or shakes his head. The doctors agreed staying with me would be the best since we know each other and I can hopefully help him and this incident won't help him. Actually in fact it push him further down so please understand."

"Ok yes it's written here, it's a strong case and the guy will most likely face charges since it was videotaped by security cameras but we'll let you know about any progression on the case. Our condolences and good luck with your friend." The two partners stepped onto my porch steps and headed for that iconic black siren car.

I sighed, it got a little loud at the end and I just held on to pure hope to the universe that somehow Tyler didn't hear it.

The universe doesn't like us for some reason.

I saw he turn up the stairs, I swore I could his pained face glinting. Obviously from tears.

"Tyler wait!" I called running up. I tripped over the first step and my shin hit the edge of the step. God I hate myself. I bit my lip and rushed up. His door was closed. 

I opened it with force and the wooden board hit the wall causing an echo of loud sound. I immediately regretted that.

Next thing I heard was a crash then a mirror on top of a fallen Tyler. My adrenaline kicked in even more as I threw off the oval reflection only to reveal a few shards dig in deeply in Tyler's soft skin. 

His eyes carried a look I never wanted towards me again, it physically hurt me of all the damage I've caused him.

"I'm sorry Ty just let me get these out." I bit my lip and quickly pulled out the bloody shards of sharp glass. 

"Come on let's wash it out." I said put my arm behind his back and gently helped him up. His muscles ceased and his bones became more visible. 

I led him to the bathroom sink and poured water softly over his skin thinning out the blood until no more leaked out. I put on a few purple bandages on his arm that was victimized by that stupid mirror. 

"There you go." I said after I placed on the last bandage. His gaze was fixed on the on the protecting felt. 

"I'm sorry Tyler, I got caught in the moment shooing those officers away and I didn't mean that u were hopeless or anything." I said sincerely. 

His brown eyes slowly looked up at me, relief and happiness fell throughout my body along with a sense of second chance. He always gave me another chance. Even if I ruined him, he gave a chance to fix that mistake. 

When he met my eyes and looked into them I wanted to kiss him, I wanted scream in happiness and let the world know that I say no to it. I say no to hopelessness. I say no to no.

I gave him a hug, a nice good hug. After a few seconds I felt him shyly relaxed and ease into it. 

I looked at him and smiled and for a second I swore I could see a light violet blush flash by his now grey skin.

 

~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~

Today was different.

Differently overwhelming.

Tyler knew that at some point he would lose them all, to lose the sight of tint and shade. No more toning or brightening.

No more.

But this was three colors at once, purple shown brightly on the grapes earlier today. Purple that looked nicely with pink or blue, green or yellow. Black or White but those didn't matter. One of the most popular colors and a common favorite to at least Tyler's knowing. Last in line but that didn't lessen the knowledge of the upcoming abyss of That.

Brown seemed like the sun in twig connecting the fruit. He couldn't tell in Josh's eyes, he had been avoiding them. At first it was It now it was This. It would hurt less right? To not indulge in the sweet crisp color that he may never see again. It was better a distant memory.

And Pink seemed mocking as it stood out in Josh's shirt. The rosy swirls embedded into the design stood out brightly against the different shades of grey. He remembered how that shirt looked nicely with any of Josh's hair colors. He remembered vaguely of red up to blue. To bad he loved Josh's pink hair phase. It hurt.

He lost three today, his last three. All that was left was Black and White, and the mix of Grey.

He was a dull backpack to Josh, a problem to the State, and re-broken record to himself.

His eyes never closed that night, he never even gave in when Josh wrapped his muscular arms from his shoulders down to his torso. His only movements were from his breathing lungs, inhaling air and exhaling a poison. He fingers rubbed Josh's relaxed knuckles. 

He was probably dreaming. 

It was long since he had a dream.

That's his fault.

And it's his fault that color has left him once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK I am so so so sorry for this delay I did not want this story to become a forgotten one and just come back to it months later even already have one on one card like that but I am so sorry but I was at a writers block but thanks to my friend she got me out of it and then I had a lot of trouble with archive end it would not let me post it so I am so so sorry but I want to start another fic for Dan and Phil and I have some ideas so if you want to know or vote I guess for which one you want first or next or something just comment below and I'll give show u the runners up:) again sorry and don't snort kool aid accidentally by smelling it to hard.  
> Have a great day and send me prints on all social media except Facebook and Snap at Jenayisonearth.
> 
> Love you all <3
> 
> ~Jenay


	7. Part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's bad

I'm _taking over my body_

__Back in control, no more shotty_ _

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_I bet a lot of me was lost_

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He was in control, right up to that night, and it had to be night time. The time where the sun starts to sleep and the white ghostly moon comes out to offer little help in the darkness in the sky.

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He lost a huge part of him as a result, but it wasn't over yet. He could feel a drift of change in the current of his senses, he felt alone. Confused. And tired. He was tired of all of this and he bet Josh was too. How can anyone deal with someone so broken even Color gave up on them. Even Color and something else...

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_"T"'s uncrossed and "I"'s undotted_

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_I fought it a lot and it seems a lot_

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_Like flesh is all I got_

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_Not anymore, flesh out the door_

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_swat!_

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His t-shirt, where did it go? Where did everything go? It was supposed to be movie night so where did the plans go?

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The t-shirt had a giant dot on it. For no reason though, that's why Tyler bought it in the first place. The dot was there just because, unlike everything that left. He fought and struggled. But it was like he was the subject of a magician's show. He was purposely in a tight hold of cloth and chains, unable to leave until the 'magic' happened. Until the performer finished.

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He wanted to scream. Oh so badly did a blood curdling sound want to escape into the air but his voice was long gone.

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Too late.

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Too late.

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Too late.

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Only his body was left though, and it was soo much help. His functioning lifeless muscles and nerves were pointless as the cells and molecules that made up his body. No voice or flesh. Now only the loud silent voice in him. All in the span of it. It left with a swoosh and bat.

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_I must'a forgot, you can't trust me_

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_I'm open a moment and closed when you show it_

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_Before you know it I'm lost at sea_

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_And now that I write and think about it_

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_And the story unfolds_

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_You should take my life_

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_You should take my soul_

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You couldn't, some people were just so unpredictable that you couldn't confide. A small ajar to a door can lead to a search of endless despair. It's a path many but few actually know and even fewer can tell.

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Tyler always used his journey as an inspiration, and to his delight many took it as advice to prosper. But a new chapter wrote itself without his hand on the pen, it was removed and controlled by another dirty one.

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Someone should take his place to ground.

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Someone should take him.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Josh's P.O.V.

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After yesterday's events we turned into the night early. I continued to hold him but I started to worry. My arms could wrap around him completely more. He wasn't eating as much so maybe I should try fattening him up?

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I laid awake, letting my thoughts race to the random corners of my mind. I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep so I played with Tyler's lengthening hair. He seemed stiff in his sleep but when I tried to massage him he flinched. His eyes still signaled his unconsciousness but even sleep couldn't peace itself with trauma.

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I thought about today, how all week Tyler seemed aware of a specific something. I remember his continuous glances at my hair then the clothes I gave him. The grapes in the end and my shirt. I wish I could ask what was on his mind.

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I hugged Ty softy but closer.

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"I'm so sorry Ty." I mumbled in his ear, hopefully it echoed through his dream or something.

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I had a random flashback to filming the music video to 'Holding On To You', I remember seeing Tyler out of the corner of my eye. he was in the mist of dancing skeletons. He stood out as the only one without a mask. I always had admired his talent. How he put in so much emotion into his voice, I was lucky to be part of the band and even be his best friend. I remember writing and practicng the lyrics, he I remember the different melododic versions the lyrics went through and how it was all worth it in the end. I've been playing that song for the past five years and for some reason it had a special place in my heart. Eventually I fell asleep. but when I woke up Tyler was gone. Panic surged through my vains as I tossed the layers of blanets and sheets aside and race out the door. " "Tyler! I shouted, went to the kitchen then the laundry room. I did a quick run through the first floor then headed back upstairs. I did a quick glance down in the living room. I couldn't find him for the life of me god. " Tyler where are you! I desperately threw clothes down and rumaged in all my storage closets and cabinets. mischeallanous crap began to litter my hallway but I could care less. Fuck I rarely cursed out, desperation began to take control This house isn't even that big. 

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"Tyler!" I shouted. tears began to roll fruriously down my cheek.

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 "where are you! come back" I ran downstairs. I knew I was probably being ridiculous, he wasn't confined or anything. But still my gut told me he was in trouble. I raced around the house and felt defeated, he was no where in sight. ~~~~|~|||||||~~~~~~ You are surrounding, All my surrounding sounding Down the mountain range, Of my left side brain Where was he!? It was dark and cold kissed his skin. Tyler didn't dare move, it was dark like the Alley. Alley, Red lights flashed on though Tyler's mind and blinded his eyes. A loud rumbled and screech filled his ears from top to bottom. His stomach did that flipping thing when you fall from high places or go down on an elevator. Why couldn't the logic side of his brain make him move? Even his body didn't think of him. You are Sounding All my surrounding Twisting the kaleidoscope Behind both of my eyes Cars! Red lights! Screeching sounds! Thumps and bruises already forming! Cold cold fingers! Entertain my faith Tears fractured the darkness as he began to cry. His body began to shake uncontrollably, where was Josh!? Josh, He finally did leave him, he got sick and ran out of sympathy and patience and left him. Josh left him. ~~~~~~~~~~ "Tyler!" I yelled again, I flipped over the house and he was gone, I didn't feel him leave last night. Did he leave? Oh god he didn't -no he couldn't. A new urge blossomed in me, a new drive. There was a small field left of my back yard, I hadn't checked there so I ran as fast I could to it. The field was turning yellow and was unkept but the lot had gathered a lot of attention by local teenagers until one day a neighbor called the police and had it fenced in, the only way to it was through a nook behind my gazebo. I searched the edge and look in the middle, The tall milkweed plants whipped around my ankles as I rushed through them, I knew it should hurt by I didn't feel a thing. As I neared the end there was a shed, the same shed Tyler joked about being a slaughterhouse when I first moved in and since avoided. I heard a rustling in it. My heart stopped and I froze, I pleaded God that it would be my Tyler, I prayed to Him to let my luck find him alive. I opened to splintery wooden door and saw a frozen Tyler in the corner of the five foot shed, his now thin body shaking and the notorious tears falling down onto his visible collarbone. "Tyler!" I cried in exasperation as I rushed to him and took him in my arms. I held him tight under the chin and tried my best not to let him know I was crying, he was in the middle of a panic attack and it might get worse if he knew I was. "Shh shh, I'm here now, I'm here." I whispered in his ear. I held his head close and my arms were wrapped tightly around him, he was leant against the corner walls. I looked down and what I saw made me look right back up, to hold him tighter and wish I felt him leave. His expression blamed me. ~~~~•<~~~~ Entertain my faith Josh left you, Entertain my faith You're to big of deal, Entertain my faith Good luck

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm so sorry I haven't updated but here is a new pretty long chapter and I hope you like it:) ~jenay

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked that and thanks for reading! Follow me on twitter or tumblr or wattpad at : Jenayisonearth and send me prompts to write or draw, I'll respond back and I do want some kind critiques to better my writing skills. Have a great day and don't spam your idols with dog memed phone case pics ;) Bye!


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